~anime-fan-boi

Well lets see....Um, well for some reason I've had the same thoughts for the past couple of months. And now my thoughts just keep coming and don't stop. I have so much to say, but I never tell the person that needs to here it...and now its gripping me tighter and tighter and breaking me ever more. As well I feel horrible for these thoughts because...well I'm with someone. And this guy is great, but he is just a crush and IDK if I can make him anything more than that. I've got something I believe I need to say, but I think these feelings are better left un-spoken. I want so bad to just let this go, but deep down I know that I can never let this go, and all the while I become excited....I fall back down because again I know that it will never happen again. I have begun to think back on things I've done within the recent weeks and know that it has meant nothing....it has only been an escape. So I have become confused on what I should do....a constant struggle between my heart and my head....

I've realized that I've hurt the people close to me, and even worse the one person I trully loved. And I know why I did it...but all that is about to change. I found the one person who has impacted my life in such a way, I don't think things will ever be the same with out him. He is my best friend and always will be, but I still wish he was here in my arms. I believe I know how he is feeling on many different scales and its hard to explain. But because of this, I think that maybe there is a chance for something good to happen. I love him so much and with all of my heart. He is my one true love, and I'm going to do anything for him. I never want to lose him. I've been through some severe mood swings for about a week now and all of it being mad, hurt, depressed, hopeless, torn and just crushed. But now, I'm back to who I used to be. And I'm wishing for one thing in my life and one thing only. I think I want to tell him how I feel, even though he already knows, but I'm going to wait until I know he is ready for something again. Even if it is with someone else...but I'm hoping not .

just here

Hi...dont really like doing things like this, but i figured hey might as well i signed up for it. Ummm...first off, I've recently realized some things arent worth the trouble. The love of my life taught me that....I can never thank him enough. I live in a horrible town, and just want to take him and leave, but we cant for now so later. Dont really know what else to say...just ask.